Lead Me Off to Nod

A long day of being ‘on’ and public from 8:00AM till 6:20PM.  Towards the latter part of the afternoon, the shots of espresso ceased to work any longer.  The desire for sleep waxed into a pronounced seductive craving, that tried to subvert my own will to attentiveness at every juncture, jumping out, unexpected, tricking me with a thought pattern whose only purpose was to lead me off to nod, tipping the guard so my eyes fell shut for just one second.

The rain that was pending in the humid air all day has now arrived.  People outside have umbrellas.  Me, inside, does not.  I left this morning without mine. I left the room, made it half way down the hall and thought:  I should bring one just in case.  I doubled back and searched the room but the complementary blue one they provide was nowhere to be found.  Had I left it on campus?   Later I searched the various classrooms, the faculty room, the breakout rooms.  “Do we have a lost and found?”  “Indeed we do.” It wasn’t there.

The rain outside didn’t look that bad.  People were under umbrellas but it wasn’t a downpour.  A colleague offered me his but I waved him off.  “I’ll be fine.” If it’s that bad I’ll get one on the street.  It was that bad.  There were none to be bought.  And the twelve-minute walk I customarily considered a quick one was now interminable.  I did what I could to duck under awnings and keep to beneath trees and I hoped against hope that my lap top was staying dry in my back pack.  By the time I made it to the apartment I was staying in I was marrow-wet.  Layer by layer I peeled down to nothing and helped myself to one of the towels. 

Normally I avoid the club like eatery that is part of the same building opposite our exit door.  I’d eaten there once only and found it underwhelming and overpriced and largely vacant. More importantly I’d gotten a phone call with some bad news in there about two years ago and an inauspicious residue lingered about the entrance. Tonight however, I headed straight over.  No more rainy night darting about for me.  I took the elevator up to the second floor and told overdressed young gentleman where I wanted to sit, instructed the kids behind me sorting the cutlery to move somewhere else and considered the silly menu.

Monday 06/05/17