The Road, To Surrender

Not sure why, but my pathway home from teaching is slightly different from my pathway over.  In the morning, en route to the campus, I want to cross Xizang Road as early as I can.  If the light permits, I cross in front of the Marriott Hotel.  If it doesn’t, I cross Fengyang Road and do it as soon as I’ve made it to the other side.  Then I’ve a straight shot down the east side of Xizang Road and I can make my final turn eastward at Hangkou Road.

One the way home I similarly seem to want to get across Xizang Road as quickly as I can.  I do the walk up the east side until I get to the crossing at Jiujiang Road.  There is always a crowd.  Often there is one or another unfortunate fellow on a dolly, unable to walk, with a missing limb, or another crippling ailment who goes from person to person, captive their at the light, begging. By the time I cross the road and begin my way down the street there is fifty-fifty chance that some fool will ask me if I want a massage.  I don’t cross here to confront these people nor to avoid them.  They’re on both sides of the People’s Square.  I cross here because it's a habit. 

Today, I crossed there, as I always do, but I was in another world.  The wonderful late Jam tune, “Dreams of Children” came up into the ears.  There was a time when I reckoned this was one of the most beautiful songs in the world and I did what I could, crossing the road, to surrender myself to this remarkable, evocative memory. 

It seems Paul Weller was, (still is?) always striving in his writing, to push metaphors and subdue cliché.  Often it’s the earnest attempts that are most beautiful. “He is sick of struggling so hard.  Says it must be nice to own a factory.”  Sometimes the failure is still charming.  “I want us to be like Peter Pan.  And dreams it seems are weightless as sand. And man is supposedly made of sand.  It seems that man cannot survive at all.”   And sometimes he captures an image provocatively, as he wakes up into the is “modern nightmare”, not unlike the one I’m walking across now, on my way home.   Bruce Foxton’s bass run and now the backwards guitar loop . . .” you will choke on your dreams tonight.”

Wednesday 5/23/18

Order Three Dishes

I had salad for lunch.  You can walk over, pick from two dozen things, they’ll load it all up, mix it about and hand you over a bowl of salad.  I put in extra this and extra that so it ends up costing nearly on hundred yuan with the beverage, but it’s alright.  One of the young fellas desperately wants to speak English.  Aspirational English, there is nothing wrong with that.  But I don’t need to entertain it.  I’ll answer in my aspirational Chinese.  

These guys do a good salad.  It’s all a bit wonky when you dive in to it.  I’d rather I had a shot at mixing this tuna up so it doesn’t flake about so dry and pasty.  But it serves the purpose to make a lunch- run without a ton of extra carbs. 

Back at my apartment I am trying to avoid a typical, family-style Chinese dinner.  I “only” order three dishes.  I get loaded up on food I don’t need, wash it down with a beer and come home tired.  That leaves, salad. 

The ironically named “Holy High” next door is ready for me.  They don’t do quesadilla’s like they used to.  No, there are no more soups.  But they have salads.  Salads are available and they are more thoughtful in their preparation than the other place. They are pre-prepared salads.  They even poach an egg so that its soft and put it in its own special compartment within your salad box. 

Back up in my room I'm content to eat my second salad.  I can’t say that I’m excited.  But I’ll dig in and maybe I’ll take a shower afterwards to that I have a fighting chance of getting these quizzes graded before sleep takes me. 

Tuesday 5/22/18

I Had Rapport Here

Perhaps Beijing has them too.  We just don’t have as much of a pedestrian experience in Beijing, outside of the old city walls to bring one up upon a small, hidden place .  The few blocks east of Xizang Road walking away from the People’s Square is hardly one of the hipper spots in old Puxi.  But increasingly there are quite a few café’s mixed in among the plumbing supply shops.  These newly minted joints, that have little more than room for an espresso maker and a few stools seem to be located on every corner.  I’ve got one I go to near the campus where I teach. 

I haven’t been there in a year but I feel like I know it well. I don’t mean to, but I approach as if people there should know me.  I had a rapport here a year ago this time.  And I sauntered up today with little time to spare before I needed to be in front of my the students and stood patiently behind a young lady who was placing her order.  Stay calm.  My turn.  I say it with a fer when I should say it as a fen down here where shi’s are si’s.

Ahh, the young girl told me a certain amount.  I suspected that wasn’t right.  “How did you calculate that?  I asked.  As suspected she added 3 kuai for the second shot and 13 kaui for the third.  But that won’t do, young lady.  Let’s walk through this.  The triple should only be an additional three yuan. 

I walk her through all this, rather pedantically.  She replies sheepishly that she cannot.  The machine will not let her.  “The machine doesn’t matter love.  We can figure this out.”  I’m creating a scene that I didn’t intend to create.  “I come here all the time.  Your logic doesn’t make sense.  Just enter the amount as 16.”  I put 16 down.  Another kid tries to explain.  But I persist and he rolls his eyes.

She capitulates and enters the charge as 16.  I try to make the best of it. I’ll be back tomorrow and the day after.  They’ll get used to me. 

Monday 5/21/18

The Guy To My Left

Barreling into Shanghai along a train shot of urban core build out from Suzhou down south.  Ninety seconds isn’t much time.  I’d say I got on this train about ninety seconds before the bell rang and the doors closed.  I was lucky the gals at the door let me through and on to the escalator.  I’d resigned myself to not making it in the cab.  Tried to let that calming notion flood my veins.  The driver, like many DiDi drivers we seem to get in Beijing was from Henan and he was pleasant but he drove his car rather conservatively, which wasn’t what I needed.  Arriving there was just enough time to see a pathway on the train.  I had to tear through the door, sweet talk myself to the head of the security line and up to the head of the ticket line.  It was very fortunate that it was the two-oh-five and not the two-o’clock train as I’d otherwise been assuming.

These train trips can be productive and this one was.  Ten days of lesson plans largely mapped out. Felt tired and napped for two hours.  Did my best to ignore the attractive woman who sat down across the aisle from me at Qufu station.  The man to my left was unobtrusive.  I don’t know if it was the luck of the draw or the fact that this was a first and not a second-class compartment or that the Sunday ride to Shanghai tends to attract a more civilized clientele, but there were few flagrant examples of noise pollution.  I trained the guy to my left quickly early, when he was playing the moments-videos from his wechat feed without any headset.  I stared and stared again.  No words were spoken but soon he had his head set out. 

I was just about to say something to a guy across the aisle, had the dry comment all planned out, but he put his phone away before I needed to act.  One or two phone calls.  Loud but not unbearable.  And so, for this ride, I was fortunate.  I’d been worried as I packed up my things and got ready to leave.  I couldn’t find my headset.  Those things are damn expensive.  How did I lose that?  Couldn’t tell you.  Perhaps its somewhere in the bottom of my bag or in my gym shorts.  But fortunately, my cousin, who’d been visiting overnight suggested he had an extra pair at the last minute. 

I charged my phone up to 100% before I indulged in any music.  There wasn’t any pressing reason to try out these new buds.  Somewhere after Qufu, after this charming young lady sat down, I had Boards of Canada up and in the ears.  We had one of those seats that is between windows so while I couldn’t consider much of sunny day Shandong as it turned into sunny day Jiangsu, but it all seemed to reinforce the focus towards my laptop, towards my work, which proceeded uninterrupted, aside from those glances over to my right which could not be helped.

Sunday 5/20/18