Saturday, August 19, 2017

I’ve a Rand Jdddd




It’s the end of the day.  I’m not sure if I should just head upstairs and call it a night or ride the fumes a bit further until gravity pulls me down. Writing involves motion beyond simply pupils and page turning. I might be able to make it through a few paragraphs.  I suspect my reading wouldn’t make it much further than a page text before I’d be off to the other world.  I’ve a rand jdddd. 

That didn’t take long.  A “rand jddd.”  Well rendered.  The wife has just said she’s heading up to bed.  The girls are already long since out.  I get it into my head to set two calendar invitations that need to happen, in order to be “productive.”  This sort of rudimentary task would normally take two to three minutes.  I’ve been working on one for about ten minutes now, as if trying to perform the task under water, within a sand storm, heavily sedated.  I blink in and out of the dream world, still determined to get the task done.  The odds of a stupid mistake happening, like inviting the wrong people to the wrong date has amplified, considerably.


                                                                                                                                                                      
A midnight snack.  Yes.  That will get the blood moving.  Stand up for a bit.  Go to the refrigerator and get a hunk of cheese and some sunflower seeds.  A sip of white wine.  Heading back it is very clear though that I need sleep and will only do compromised work with sleep standing so near by, ready to lull me. 



More then ever, I notice my addiction to the news.  It is now mid-morning back home in the U.S.  however the landing page of the New York Times hasn’t changed for nearly half a day.  Why should I care?  Me like two thirds of the rest of the country is waiting for the Trump train to reach the washed out bridge that awaits this administration, at point obscured but clearly pending, up behind a corner unknown.  My checking for it won’t make it come any quicker.  But I confess, I just can’t stop looking.  What a waste of time. 




Thursday, 8/17/18


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