Voting For Burritos This Year

Like most, I’m hopelessly obsessed with the election cycle.  I shouldn’t care, but I care intensely what Trump says next and if it will be decisive towards securing his defeat.  I want him to loose miserably.  I want a clean sweep of blue.  I’d like to watch as he explains his loss away, ingloriously, certainly, through accusations of voter fraud, how he lost in all fifty states.  And it's a representative democracy so I ought to do my part.  This means getting an absentee ballot today so I can vote from China next November. 

I know where the town hall is in New Paltz and check for the number on line.  A nice lady named Kerry goes through the process with me and confirms that it might all be easier with the re-registering that seems to be required for me to just stop by.  I know where she is.  It isn’t far.  The girls want burritos and so I put in a take-out order and we all make a trip of it. 

I have taken two of what I call “baba-tax” bites from each of their burritos.  The younger one wanted one without beans and its awfully dry.  But the older one has a veg burrito with Portobello mushrooms I’m wishing I got one.  “No taxation without representation, baba!”  It seems some Revolutionary War history chatter actually sunk in.  The town hall it appears, has moved.  This, according to the sign on the door.  Just two miles down the road.  OK then. 

We find the modest new home of the New Paltz town hall, in a trailer near the Highway Department office.  The lady, whom I assume to be Kerry, is helping an older lady with what appears to be a dog license.  The woman whom I assume to be Kerry asks this lady: “May I ask how old you are?”  “Seventy four.” Answers the lady. “You don’t look it.”

My turn.  “Hi.  Are you Kerry?”  “No.”  “Sorry, I called on the phone and spoke to Kerry, who told me bla bla bla.”  “Right.  I can give you a voter registration form or an absentee ballot form.”  “OK. But your colleague Kerry seemed to have been able to find me in the system.  She isn’t here?”  “What number did you dial?  Did you call Kingston?”  I check my phone and read off a number.  She confirms that’s New Paltz.  I dial the number and ask: “Sorry, where are you located?”  “Right across from the Starbucks? Right.”  Turning to the woman who isn’t Kerry I offer: “So, she’s downtown across from the Starbucks.  Is that where I should go?”  “Huh?  There are no government offices there.  Can I have the number?”  “Sure.”  I give it to her and she calls and inquires as to whom it is she’s reached.  “Ahh.  Ok.”  And she hangs up.  “Mexicali Blue.”  The taco place.  “Right.  I’m voting for burritos this year.  Sorry.”  This all made the woman who wasn’t Kerry laugh.  I looked again and read off the number I’d dialled before ordering burritos and she confirms that I had indeed dialled the Kingston office.  I’m not going there today. 

I walk through what do do with the forms and try to pay attention because it is an affidavit I’ll be signing.  I will use the forms provided to do my part and defeat Donald.  And the lady who isn’t Kerry will always remember me as the guy who’s voting for the Taqueria Party.