Monday, May 22, 2017

If You’re a Middle Aged Man




Five thirty in the morning?  Not so early.  Not if you’re a middle-aged man staying at the Marriott Courtyard.  The rather tight little gym space at the hotel I’ve been spending a few days in was standing room only at that hour this morning.  I walked right up to a stair master of against the wall, only to notice a water bottle resting in the holder.  Turning I acknowledged the bald guy swiftly returning with his towel.  I considered a visit to the Starbucks they had in the front of the facility when a guy with hairy arms stepped off the only other stair master. 

Random running tunes and the ever-humbling progression through Pleco Chinese flash cards on the iPhone, just like back home . . . but all the while I was eyeing the guy with the receding hair line lifting barbells on the only bench they provided.  How long did this guy need?  Is he gonna need more than twelve minutes?  I’m done in twelve minutes.  He better be too.  Why is he resting so long between sets?   Whatya just gonna sit there?



Concentrate on the cards. Concentrate for a little while. But before me is full-walled mirror.  I look good.  My haircut looks alright.  Maybe I do. I can’t see my gut.  I look better than that guy.  Definitely.  Am I that fat?  I don’t think so.  His face is fat.  He’s gotta fat neck.  I’m lucky I don’t have a fat neck yet.   He looks Irish like me though.  Irish get fat necks when they get older.  That guy with the waxing dome who’s on my weight bench is definitely Jewish. No question.  I don’t know what this guy beside me is. 



“Tomorrow Never Knows” comes on the mix.  Wow.  OK.  Fiddle with the phone so it’s turned up full.  Close your eyes, step harder now and concentrate on Ringo’s snare shots.  I enjoy the song for the seven hundred and thirty eighth time in my life till I begin to worry that I look a bit like Stevie Wonder shaking my head with my eyes closed.  My eyes dart nervously across the mirror to the half a dozen peers on the other machines.  No one was looking at me.  Not that I could tell.



Wednesday, 5/17/17

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