Thursday, February 6, 2014

Generalissimo Splattered




Up from the roots of bed, from before the sunrise.  Looking down from the 19th floor.  The city below, Qingdao, is blanketed in snow.  We actually had some accumulation overnight.  The snow laid out over the city looks divine from this high up.  City snow has a way of becoming less than romantic rather quickly, after it’s been trod upon, but we’ll go soon and have a look.  I want to make a snowball. 



Today, I believe we’ll head up to the tip of this Shandong peninsula.  I’ve never been to Weihai, Yantai and Penglai.  All of them are spotted with historical significance, of visitors who commented on some view or mountain or native sons and daughters who hailed from this part of the empire.  I always remember the story of Qin Shi Huang, visiting the sea, after he’d conquered the Qi kingdom and being dazzled by the enormity of it, this being his first time to encounter the boundless blue brine.  I believe the place he sent his minions out to find the elixir of life from was Penglai.  It must be out there somewhere.   

The Dutch diplomat, novelist and historian Robert von Gulik who was stationed in for prolonged stays before and after the War in Japan where wrote the eminently readable Judge Dee mystery series about the historical Tang dynasty judge who serves as a sagacious Sherlock Holmes in Chinese imagination.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_van_Gulik.  As a Dutch diplomat and a linguist Van Gulik served throughout the region and in postings around the world. Our hero, Judge Dee, forever, 远见[1], always gets his non-gender-specific foil.  Von Gulik has Judge Dee hale from Penglai, if memory serves.  However, when I’ve stated this as historical fact, “Judge Dee, he was from Penglai”, it usually seems to sit at odds with people’s understanding.  I’ll have to look it up. 

OK.  It would appear the real Di Ren Jie is from Taiyuan, in Shanxi, about a few hundred miles to the west of Shandong. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Di_Renjie

Last night we were all hanging out in the hotel lounge and took a notion to make a mocumentary.  We have all this capacity to make things like, say, a guerilla movie, on our iPhones but never think to.  OK, so what should we mock?  What better to flay then a boring teacher at in an imaginary school?  Originally my idea was received rather flatly.  “Huh?  Why?”  But as soon as I managed to get them to do a first take, they were hooked.  We settled on the “boring history teacher, me, going on and on about Qingdao history, not unlike every car ride we take around here and the kids provided every more absurd answers to questions put to them. 

During the day we’d visited the house that Jiang Kai Shek had lived in, during his visits to the city.  The girls were lectured tirelessly about a supposedly famous incident wherein “Peanut” as General Stillwell used to call the hapless Guomindang leader, was dressed in his finest and splattered suddenly, with mud. This, as we had a picture of an older gentleman in a fedora from the day’s touring, taken outside of the house which was the Generalissimo’s former villa.  The shot I’d taken was splattered with snowflakes hence the origin of the loopy incident.   We got an evening’s worth of mileage out of this routine.  Now I need to look into editing software.



Riding along China’s newly built highway system now, heading off the G20 on to the G15 now, heading north to the head of the Shandong peninsula, up to Yantai.  To the right, a fair smattering of snow still covers the fields and the Styrofoam greenhouses.  Cameras are flashing overhead, photographing our license plates.  It’s not as obtrusive as Korea where people have a minimum of three chirping radar detectors both legal and otherwise that sing out irregularly, causing people to accelerate and break, in response.  Long concrete houses with red tiled roofs are pocketed into highway-side town, after highway-side town.  None of these shoddy homes will make it through the decade I’d imagine.  Men now rolling turf down over the tops of a few greenhouses.  I think I may have just seen a vineyard. 

I haven’t made it to the gym much on this trip but I’ve managed to get the ball rolling early enough this morning.  Pristine new equipment, antiseptic facility and a view out to the neighboring parking lot.  No people.  I got started but I missed my familiar stair master immediately.  “What’s your age”  “What’s your weight?”  “Fuck off, just go.”  Not content with my thumbing the “quick start” button once, it seemed to keep coming up with perky things to ask me.  “Shut up.”  In my routine I go backwards for three minutes around the 12th minute.  My machine back home just rides with it.  This “intelligent” contraption saw it as a chance to chat.  And then again, three minutes later. 

Fortunately I had Hendrix, Fernanda Abreu, Toots and Maytals and the Bad Brains to keep me company.  I’ve had Toots “Up From the Roots” album for much more than half my life.  “Enos One Eye” is an odd tune in which Toots seems to be conveying wise counsel to a woman not to knock out another man’s eye.  It’s a rough visual.  “Suppose you did a knock out de man’s eye, what you would a do?”  But subject matter, not withstanding Toots Hibbert always seems to tap into this raw form of positivity that never, ever ceases to lift you up, from wherever he finds you.  “Enos One Eye” lyrics, and a tasty, earlier version of the song, then the famous one on Up From the Roots. Here are song’s lyrics.  which don’t really solve much about this tune or its purpose, at a first glance. http://nlyrics.com/Toots_The_Maytals/One_Eye_Enos_Lyrics

iTunes seemed to know I was in a Toots mood as it “randomly” threw on “Funky Kingston” a bit later.  Good Lord, what song.  I’ve heard it a few hundred times, I suppose but there he is singing from a place so deep within his bowels as to be essentially unfathomable.  More than a few heroes sing from that deep region behind their omphalos:  Kurt Cobain comes to mind, John Lennon, even deeper.  But Toots on the first break in “Funky Kingston” seems to be pulling from twenty three feet down through his large intestine well into the small, to pull out those yells.  Listen, for the first time, or again for the hundredth time, if you will.  How does he summon that sound?  And in doing, fashion it into something so unmistakably life affirming?

Reading over his Wiki page I’m reminded of things I knew about him, such as his origins in Clarendon and the studios he worked at, the hits he and the Maytals had.  There were also things I didn’t know, such as that he was busted for pot possession in 1966 (one would imagine they’d have to incarcerate a third of the island) and from the experience wrote the song “54-46, That’s My Number” which I will never listen to the same way again.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toots_Hibbert

Last year the noble man was hurt badly when an idiot in the audience at a concert in Richmond, threw a bottle at his head.  During the trial of the man, Toots apparently wrote the judge with these words:  "He is a young man, and I have heard what happens to young men in jail. My own pain and suffering would be increased substantially knowing that this young man would face that prospect.”  Despite Toots words of forgiveness, the judge, perhaps as stern though not necessarily as sagacious as Judge Dee, sentenced the lout to six month’s in prison.

And recently with fitting irony Frederick Nathaniel "Toots" Hibbert, the “criminal” of a crime that should never have been a crime in the first place, was awarded his homeland’s fifth highest honor: The Order of Jamaica.  Is there anything like his elemental, plausible, convincing friendliness of spirit anywhere in todays’ pop world, let alone specifically from the magma opening of musical innovation that seems to forever flow out from Jamaica?  Ahh, for good new popular music that isn’t simply ironic.  

Or for mocumentaries of leaders that are splatter free.





[1] yuǎnjiànzhuóshí:  visionary and sagacious (idiom)       

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