Make the Holes Meet

I’ve talked about it all weekend.  I have many other more important things to do.  But my wife returns today and if I don’t get it done now, permissions rather than forgiveness will be required.  My objective is to have something I can see from the dining room, that attracts lots of birds.  And it needs to be squirrel proof.  My father and I spent hours over the weekend considering how, with a long pole or a series of ropes and pulleys we could construct something that would extend out beyond the ten-foot reach of a squirrel’s jump.  My stepmom fortunately weighed-in though, and reminded my dad that you could, also, simply use a squirrel proof feeder.

The couple from whom I bought this house ten years ago, have a number of squirrel proof feeders in the garage.  But they’re rusty and would need to be scraped and repainted.  Yesterday, though, my stepdad mentioned that he had a brand-new wiz-bang feeder he’d never used before.  No, it wouldn’t go on a pole.  Yes.  Apparently, it is squirrel resistant.  My daughter and I dined there last night and I was introduced to my new clear-domed, green-trayed, hanging contraption.   It was missing the top hook though, from which to hang it all.

 

Lowes had hooks and screws and iron stands that you can fasten clasps to.  They also have bird feed (shelled or un-shucked sunflower seeds?) and suet bars.  My dad is masterful in the cavernous halls of Lowes.  "We need clasps."  We strike up a conversation with a pleasant curmudgeon who is somewhere between my father and I in age.  He can’t understand why people can’t put the clasps back where they belong, but he warms to the building challenge we describe to him and before long he has found us most of what we need.  And then he mentions that it is time for his break. 

Back on my porch we drill a hole into the floor with his screw gun.  And though it should be reasonably easy to drill one hole down four inches and another up four inches up on a board the is six inches across and have them meet, we fail in this and our electric drill runs out of power before we can make the holes meet.  No matter, time is running out before I need to drive down to Newark Airport.  Let’s anchor the iron hanger such as we can in the porch, clip it to the railing, fill the feeder and hang it up.  The suet hanger can go on the hook on the other side.

It is imperfect.  It would be better if the iron rod sank further into the porch.  The secondary mooring is within eyesight, and I wish it wasn’t.  But the location though, is perfect.  I can sit in the chair I usually do work in and look out on all the feeding I imagine will transpire.  It strikes me that it is not dissimilar to my teenage years, when I used to stock an aquarium.  For now though, I have to hop on a call with someone in Salt Lake City and commence this pickup run down to Newark Liberty. 

Monday, 10/21/19