Emotional Spectrum Limited

Oddly, but perhaps understandably one of the reasons I like to go to either of the Indian restaurants in our neighborhood is because there will necessarily be a large screen TV broadcasting some Bollywood epic.  One doesn’t need dialogue or subtitles to understand the songs.  The rich guy thinks one of the girls in the dancing troupe is attractive.  His friends joke with him about this.  The girl hints at flirtation, but is also simply doing her part as a member of the dance troupe.  The sets are gaudy and implausible, and the emotional spectrum limited, binary, excited-ashamed, angry-sad, campy-pouty, and the music is almost always the irresistible bangra beat. 

Tonight it’s my older one, the Mrs. and I as the younger one is at theatre practice.  I recognize the star on the T.V.  He’s one of the two most famous Bollywood stars.  I ask the waiter who looks to be from India: “That is Khan . . . ?  What’s his full name again?  “Him?  Sure.  That’s Shah Rukh Khan.”  “Right.”  I remember trying to learn about the genre and it was Amitabh Bachchan and then this gentleman, Shah Rukh Khan who appeared to be the summit of the seventies and then eighties respectively.   I tried to explain that Khan had trouble with immigration in the U.S. recently, which had caused a kerfuffle but no one is particularly interested. 

We’ve got garlic naan and saag paneer, some dhal and an eggplant dish as well now all out to the table in quick succession.  No shortage of good vegie options here, for my older one.  We’re talking about her younger sister, and my older daughter wants to make that point that self-perception is formed by the opinions of those around you.  If you think you’re one thing or another about yourself, you are just reacting to the impressions of others.   I argue that some things come from within.  If you are going to make a change in behavior you need to be able to steel yourself to it and do it.  The world may feed you back information, you can filter it or reject or learn from it, but regardless some change must ultimately come because someone decides it is what needs to be done.

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She argues her position stronger and I am both exited and annoyed.  I appreciate the spirit and don’t agree with the logic.  It reminds me of me at that age, which I once again love for the nobility of conviction and disregard for the simplicity of my zealotry.  I press back and try to get her to discuss the concepts from her psychology class that inform this line of thinking.  My wife is concerned that we’re “arguing” but I appreciate the intellectual disagreement.  The topic shifts naturally, bore much longer, as there is no correct answer. 

There is a close up now on Shah Rukh Khan and he is pouting.  But wait, he’s smiled a rakish smile.  Everything is OK.

Saturday, 11/04/17