Particularly Curt and Mean

There is not a surfeit of patience to be had on the 6:20AM gym run.  Even with my ready-for-Nome, sleeping bag-size, orange, North Face, parka on, the car is very cold.  I’m in my gym shorts because I can’t be bothered with the extra five minutes needed to go head to the changing room.  I know precisely which intersection we’ll be passing before the heater is able to generate warm air.  And we aint there yet.  The car beeps at this intersection because I haven’t clicked the seat belt and I swing it over my enormous jacket as I turn to the left.

Now there’s a straight shot for a few hundred yards.  I want to speak to someone back home.  I’ll call that person: I’d thought, as I assembled my keys and my wallet and the washcloth I’ll use to blow my nose, and wipe off sweat on the stairmaster.  I consider my phone as I drive and the little “4G” sign isn’t there.  Immediately I’m furious.  This could only mean one thing.  The bill on the phone is past due.  Damn. This will take half the day to fix.  Coloful invective fills the car, drowning out Herbie Nichols on the keys. 

Put the phone down.  The guard in his regulation green army coat raises the barrier allowing me to pass.  I wave and lower my head, hoping this gesture of humanity will somehow soften his thankless, outdoor task.  Make sure there are no runners nor three wheeled carts approaching in the dark and I make my right turn.  Now I can look at this damn phone again.  

To be sure that it’s off, I need to hear the angry Chinese woman’s recorded voice tell me that my phone is shut because I haven’t paid the bill.  I wonder if she practiced this, as it is, even across languages, particularly curt and mean.  Who can I dial at 6:25AM without annoying them, to prompt the mean message?  No one really.  Wait.  I’ll call the front gate.  They’ve someone staffed there and people call at this time in the morning, for cabs.  I thumb through and find the number and pressing it I put it up to my ear. It rings.  I hang up and see now pressing the network tab that I’d turned off mobile data at some point yesterday. 

Now I have the little 4G in the upper left corner of the phone.  Now I have heat.  I turn it up.  Soon I’ll be at the gym.  I decide to focus on driving till I get in to the school and park. 

Wednesday, 02/24/18