Fire Hydrant Anywhere Near

 

Ahh, they must get a lot of tuxedo jokes in Tuxedo, New York.  Wiki tells me the word comes from a Native American Lanape word tucseto, which may mean ‘place of the bear’ or ‘clear flowing water’ and nothing whatsoever to do with formal male attire.  I was back in Tuxedo today, to have my day in court.  Having pled ‘not guilty’ to a parking ticket I received a note in the mail informing me that on June 16^th, I needed to be there at the town court at 9:00AM or risk having my license revoked.  The had my attention. 

I had a nice drive down.  Talked with one and then another person on the phone and generally did my best to avoid any speeding because it would be simply too ironic to get a moving violation ticket on my way to contest a simple parking ticket.  On my way there I visited the scene of the crime:  Lake Skannatati.  Back in March I’d rendezvoused there with my family and, arriving late, parked behind twenty other cars on the road down to the proper parking lot.  When I’d returned there was a ticket for $85.00.  As I remembered it, there was no sign marking the area as a no-parking zone.  And when I pulled up this morning, I could confirm that the side where I parked was unmarked, and I took a picture of it, though I wondered if I’d really have a chance to show the photo.  There, on the other side of the street it did say:  “No Parking.”   “On-the-corner-of-the-ping pong table,” (擦边球) as the Chinese say.  Was it in or out?  Clearly you couldn’t park on that side of the road, but this side?

The town of Tuxedo was only ten minutes away and, armed with my photos I drove, at a modest speed along Seven Lakes Drive down to Route 17.  Slowing for road work, it dawned on me that I’d overlooked urinating during the photography shoot.  I’d slurped at least two cups of coffee as I drove along the New York State Throughway and the release was now rather overdue.   Would the courthouse have a rest room?  Uncharacteristically early, I stopped to get a coup of coffee.  I threw down a buck down and was informed that a cup of coffee is actually $1.79.  They had a bathroom. I used it. 

 

Parking, of course, was a problem.  I went back down towards seventeen and found a place and of course checked once, twice, three times to be sure that there was no signage to suggest I shouldn't park.  Ten-person deep line there before the metal detector and then I stood outside a room and read “No Longer Human” by Osamu Daizu.  The prosecutor wanted to know what I’d been reading out there.  I chose not to mention the title but rather suggest, that I’d been reading it with my daughter, which led to a talk about daughter’s and his mention that they wouldn’t be charging me with anything, but rather dropping all.  I just needed to sit through things in the court.  One person after another all of whom seemed to have moving violations were told by Her Honor that the charges would be dropped if they agreed to accepting a guilty fee of parking too close to a fire hydrant.  Tempted I was, more than once, as they kept repeating these pleas, to yell out:  “but that’s disingenuous as there wasn’t a fire hydrant anywhere near that particular place.”  The judge suggested they were to drop things and I said that sounded fine and left with a sense of satisfaction that I hadn’t come for nothing and though I’d spent $30.00 on gas, I’d saved $85.00 on the cost of the ticket by pleading "not guilty."  No one had been interested in my photos and there was no ticket on my car when I returned and inspected the windshield. 

 

 

 

Wednesday, 06/15/21