Someone Other Than Me

 

Owls out there.  Some wild dogs or domestic dogs going wild as well.  It isn’t quite Friday yet.  My older daughter is up there tending to her leopard gecko.  The little one is psyched.  No school tomorrow.  Her weekend has just begun.  I need to head to bed, though its only 10:00PM as I’ll be on a 3:00AM call. 

 

I planted more pumpkin seeds today.  I’ve no idea if this will just be a giant lark.  But this year, I’ve been plopping one seed after another in the field beside our property and the rail trail.  I shovel the trowel into the earth, wiggle it back and forth and drop two, always two for company, pumpkin seeds into the earth and try to mat it down.  Today I tried to do the same with a packet of eggplant seeds and one of tomato seeds as well. 

A good talk with the little one today, on the ride over to her school today.  She was afraid to come to me with bad grades.  She is a stellar student.  She has nothing to fear.  But then we don’t always understand the image we create of ourselves.  She said that she wasn’t afraid of her mom.  She was always contrarian and so she tended to laugh at what she said, if she needed an out but with me it was less frequent and therefore more serious.  It felt as though we were talking about someone other than me.  I loved her so unconditionally, I told her.  And I meant it. 

And we talked right through the listening I’d been looking forward to of “Wasteland” and “Burning Sun” from ‘Setting Sons’ during the period of the ride when it was “my turn” to play stuff.  Some other day.  I tried to call one person and then another who was unavailable on the ride home.  Then I called my dad.  We’ll meet up in a few hours and go to Minnewaska.  No rain is there in the forecast.  We have’t been in deep woods or a while.  OK.  Go to bed.  You need to be up in five hours and you're not writing anything particularly compelling. 

 

Friday, 05/07/21